Saturday, May 12, 2012

em..

bismillahirahmanirahim..


hari ni masa balik exam PTD, aku terfikir betapa malunye kalo ape yang salah aku buat dlu ditayangkan depan mata. mesti aku tak berani nak buat. aku baru sedar perasaan malu berkurang masa wat degree dulu. entah, kejutan budaya mungkin. dapat tinggal sendiri, takde had masa, boleh nak keluar suka hati.


hmm..


sekarang, aku dah balik 'sarang'. walaupun aku rase terkongkong. balik keje lewat skit, mesti  ade sms tanye aku kat mane. dlu aku fikir, takde makna aku ade kenderaan tapi tak boleh nak gerak jauh2. kalo member lama ajak hangout makan2 malam pun semua aku reject sebab dah tau ape jawapan mak bile aku mintak nk kluar nnt.


hmm..


yer.. dah jelas sekarang, ade pekara yang aku suka tu tak baik untuk aku. dan benda yang aku nak buat tapi tak dapat sampai rase nak marah bile tak dapat buat tu, tak baik untuk aku..


terima kasih mak, ayah.. akak sayang mak ngan ayah sangat2..


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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

how to move on?

Bismillah...huhuhu... :'(


Ya Allah..please help me to move on. i know im unable to forget. but at least, let me move on... im afraid if he get annoyed with me.


i can't treat him as a friend like what he did.. because everytime we're contacting each other, my heart was badly hurt. to realize we're just friend.. huhuhu... :'(


:'(


:'(


:'(


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Sunday, May 6, 2012

me luv

i think i am brave enough to describe my feelings to those i've fallen in luv with. but with one condition: im sure there is a chance for us to go further after a few trial made..


and the result is, i've lost to THIS one guy.. but also i've got that OTHER guy.. please dont think im a player. it happens one by one. each with long time distance.


to lose this one guy, it doesnt hurt at all. evenmore, he become a good friend. i dont think to take him as a best friend. men n women cannot be best friend. it can only be after marriage. this is my opinion. because if i am a husband, i just couldnt stand if my wife is telling all her feelings/problems to the other guy. it looks like some kind of 'dayus'.. the only guy who deserve to know ALL things/feelings/problems/needs is her husband. understand? hehe..


next, about the other guy i've got. it doesnt last long.. it was 'frustrating, dissapointing, regretful, waste of time, increasing sins' relationship. yes. it such a stupidity. to love then to hope not to God. but to a creature.. the weak one.. its a shame. the worst part is it happened twice. with the same person. astaghfirullahalazim.. this mistakes is eyes opening to me. now i realized the true luv is not to give all your luv n hope to a person. but to love and hope entirely to Allah, and through having a right companion, will lead us to THE true love...


i've treat my self badly. to fix is not easy. it takes SABAR n REDHO. to 'redho' is like the wound is healing while 'sabar' is like i'm ignoring the painnnnn felt inside.. urgh..! keep it up darling.


p/s: please told myself i love her so much..


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Friday, May 4, 2012

hmmm...

wuwuwu... adakah bahan sesuai yg bermanfaat utk aku kongsikan disini?


banyak sangat luahan perasaan.. tepu plak rasenye.. jiwa lara tengah sakit.. mcam ni la jadinye.. kalo ade yg singgah sini pun mesti frust takde isi berguna nak dibaca.. kan? maaf..


mintak maaf senang.. tapi utk mintak maaf depan2 susah bagi aku nak buat. susah nak mintak maaf walaupun depan mak ayah masa hari raya. ape ntah yang menghalang. salam cium tangan kucup pipi tapi tak terkata jugak perkataan maaf. kenapa?


aku teringat mase tgah keje siang tadi. uncle tu mintak maaf kat aku sebab mintak pen dengan naik suara semalam. aku tak terasa pun benda tu. aku dah tak ingat pun hari ni. sbb aku pun salah tak mintak izin mase amik pen tu. hal kecik kan? sampai aku tak ingat. tapi lepas dia mintak maaf kat aku tu.. aku rase dia laaaaagi baik dari aku. dia cine. aku muslim. aku malu sendri sebenarnye. dia mintak maaf dengan aku.. aku rase aku loser. so aku pun direct mintak maaf jugak kat dia sbb dah mencurik pen beliau dlm tempoh +/-seminit. aku nak sign jer tapi sibuk plak kne cop ape bagai. lebih la 2,3 minit...... hu...


sekian. aku nak sambung berjiwa lara balik.. wuwuwuwwu.... wassalam.


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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

keluar dengan fiza syg...

hari ni aku dengan beraninye bawak krete g shah alam. nak date dengan fiza. dah 2 tahun tak jumpe.. mula2 rase nervous jugak takut salah jalan. tapi alhamdulillah... lancar pergi balik.


aku dgn fiza wat aktiviti biase je. jalan2 window shopping. terbeli satu dua barang.. haha.. tapi yang paling best bile time makan..  ape yg dah lame aku simpan aku dapat cite dengan bebasnye kat fiza.. dia sungguh bertahan je layan aku punye cite.. hehe.. thanks fiza..


yg tinggal bile tgok wyg.. the avengers bagi aku ok. well done.. tapi masalah dengan budak skolah yg batak tak betempat.. memekak sepanjang citer.. tak leh bla.. sabar je la.. tapi sian kat fiza.. kaco mood nak layan wyg.. huhu..


anyway.. its fun.. truely.. =)


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teringin..

benda yang paling aku inginkan sekarang hanyalah seutas jam. satu je yang aku perlu. maka akan lunyai lah mane2 jam yang bakal aku beli tak tau lagi bila.. sbb aku takde byak duit nk ade koleksi jam.. hahaha...


yang menarik hati aku skang adalah seperti berikut =)


hehe.. yg ralph lauren tu untuk wish list je.. the blue bottle please.. im so in love with the smell..


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